Saturday 6 August 2011

Financial Crisis - News in brief - Where did all the money go?

S&P downgrades US debt - The ratings agency Standard and Poors, renowned for the triple A ratings it gave to a pile of crappy credit derivatives instruments, is to downgrade US debt. Has S&P got it right this time round? Impossible to say really. After all, who rates the ratings agencies?

Jupiter Probe - The rocket has blasted off and is wending its way to Jupiter or Juno, or somewhere remote. Everyone's asking: "So, what's the payload?" Rumour has it the probe's stuffed full of dollars and Euros belonging to wealthy investors seeking a new off-shore tax haven. As the global economy falls apart, is outer space the next frontier for the planet's indifferent rich?

Tulips - Investors are looking far and wide for safe havens. We asked Rotterdam based investor, Ruyd Van  Dem Tulipshe where he'd park his money: "Vell, we Dutch are shimply shuperb when it comes to shee real shmart inveshting shtrategies. Remember folkshs, we shold our ABN bank to RBS back in 2007 - jusht in zee nicks of time. And now we Dutch are shinking zat zee tulip musht be zee next shafe havens."