Monday 18 July 2011

Wapping lies

Responsibility for the conduct of Scotland Yard ultimately resides with the Home Secretary. Bearing that in mind it is perhaps reasonable to ask under whose watch the "cosy" relationship between the Yard and News International executives actually flourished.

Jack Straw: You're not suggesting it was under my watch, are you?

David Blunkett: I feel it would be inappropriate at this time to comment on whether it was under my watch.

Charles Clarke: It couldn't possibly have been under my watch, could it?

John Reid: I think I can quite categorically state, with some degree of certainty, that none of this occurred under my watch - at least to the best of my recollection.

Jacqui Smith: Are you honestly suggesting that it could have happened under my watch?

Alan Johnson: Er, listen mate, ask no questions, tell no lies. 'Nuff said!

And under whose watch were the investigations into misconduct finally launched?

Theresa May: Under my watch.

As they say: 'Nuff said!