Friday 7 May 2010

The name of the game is power

(Mr Mugabe’s tailor measures him up for a new suit)

Tailor: Do you want it sir? Do you? Do you?

Mugabe: I beg your pardon.

Tailor: Do you want it, sir?

Mugabe: Do I want what? You mean, power?

Tailor: Do you want it sir?

Mugabe: What you talking about? Do I want it?

Tailor: Yes, do you want it?

Mugabe: What a silly question. I already got it. I already got power.

Tailor: No sir. Do you want it? Do you want proportional representation?

Mugabe: What are you meaning? Do I want proportional representation? Why do I want that?

Tailor: But do you, sir? Do you want it?

Mugabe: Why do I want that when I already got power?

Tailor: But do you?

Mugabe: Course not, idiot man. Proportional representation never deliver strong government. Every fool know that.

Tailor: But do you want it?

Mugabe: Very foolish man. I do not want this proportional representation. Only dictatorship, it does deliver the strong form of government that Robert Mugabe like.

Tailor: But do you, sir? Do you want it?

Mugabe: No, I do not WANT it. Now shut up stupid man. I do not WANT it!

Tailor: Yes, Sir. Suit you, sir.

Mugabe: Suit you? What do you mean, suit you? This suit is way too big, man. How can you say it suit me?

Tailor: So sorry sir. How utterly, utterly sorry I am sir. I got the proportions all wrong.

Mugabe: Get a grip man, or I'll re-arrange your proportions. Do you understand?

Tailor: Yes sir. Certainly sir. It doesn't suit you, sir.

Mugabe: That's more like it man.